Hi All. It’s been a little while. My usual go-to word for these situations is hectic. “My life has been so hectic” or “Things have been crazy lately”. Today, though, I’m at a loss for words. I don’t think there’s really an appropriate word to describe what my life has been as of late. It’s been a whirlwind of the emotions that come along with losing a loved-one. Sadness, anger, emptiness…It’s been a little hard to get my head around, but I just have to keep pushing on.
I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible, but please bear with me. Here we go:
About 3 weeks ago, my dad had been in a rehab center recovering from surgery on his leg. A nurse was in the room talking with him when suddenly he went unresponsive. His heart had literally stopped. Luckily, the staff and my father’s pacemaker/defibrillator were able to revive him quickly, so his brain was not without oxygen for an extended period of time. Sadly, though, he did not regain consciousness, and remained in that state in the ICU for 7 days.
Then, on day 8, my mom received a call saying that he had suddenly woken up. We were obviously all very excited, and went to the hospital to see him. He couldn’t really talk, but what can you expect after having a ventilator in your throat for a week? He was mouthing words, knew who everyone was, and was responding to commands.
The next day, he wasn’t as good, but still responsive. I convinced myself that he was just tired from all the commotion the day before. I only half acknowledged the fact that his kidneys weren’t producing urine, and thus he was essentially be poisoned from the inside. My mom kept saying, maybe he came back to say goodbye. He woke up so we could all see him and talk to him one more time. I refused to acknowledge that as a possibility.
The next day, I was just finishing lunch when one of my coworkers came and told me to go see my mom. I walked towards the door and saw my sister standing there; I could tell she had been crying. No one really had to tell me what had happened at that point. I found my mom and immediately fell into her arms in tears. We drove to the hospital to see him and say our goodbyes. The chaplain came in and said some prayers with the family, which was somewhat comforting, but the pain was still too fresh to wrap my head around.
The wake had an overwhelming turnout. I couldn’t believe how many people came, including a number of people who drove in from out of state. The funeral was a beautiful service, with lovely music provided by the choir from my high school, where my dad was heavily involved. It also helped immensely that Bill came and stayed with me pretty much the entire week. There was a lot of craziness, but he put up with it so that I could keep my head on straight.
It’s been just over a week, and things are starting to get back to normal. I’m back at work today, and thankfully it hasn’t been too stressful trying to get caught up. I know that some days will be harder than others, but I have to keep pushing on. I have to do all that I can to make my dad proud.
Thank you for taking the time to read through my novel (novella, short story?) here. I wanted to give you the whole story, and I promise there are happier posts to come. My blogging goal is to have two more posts for you this week, and be back in full swing next week. Thank you for being patient with me while I’ve been away from the blog.
<3 Chelsea
